Why Sleep training/Coaching fails — And How to Fix It

If sleep coaching hasn’t improved your child’s sleep, it’s important to figure out why. You’ve likely put in a lot of effort—researching, planning, and trying different strategies—but if nothing has worked, you may feel stuck. Let’s explore some common reasons sleep coaching fails and what you can do about them.

1. assess Your Sleep Expectations - are they realistic?

Sometimes, parents hope for sleep patterns that don’t match their child’s developmental stage. For example:

• Expecting a baby to sleep until 8:00 a.m.

• Assuming a 6-month-old can go 13 hours without eating

• Transitioning to one nap too early (e.g., at 12 months)

• Moving an 18-month-old to a toddler bed before they’re ready

Check age-appropriate sleep schedules and consult your pediatrician about night feedings. Most babies naturally wake between 6:00–7:00 a.m., and daytime sleep needs vary by age.

2. are you doing the math right? looking at daytime Naps

An overtired baby struggles more at bedtime. Aim for an early bedtime (ideally 7:00–8:00 p.m.) and ensure they get enough daytime sleep. If naps are inconsistent:

• Use sleep crutches temporarily if needed.

• If naps are a battle, consider sleep coaching for both naps and nights.

• Ask caregivers to help meet their nap needs.

3. Your Baby Was Put Down Too Drowsy

If you’ve been placing your baby in the crib "drowsy but awake" but they’re still waking frequently, they might actually be too drowsy. If they’re nearly asleep at bedtime, they won’t learn to fall asleep independently. Instead, they’ll rely on you to help them back to sleep during night wakings.

Key signs your baby is too drowsy:

• Eyes drooping

• Limp body

• Falling asleep within minutes

Adjust by putting them down slightly more awake so they can practice self-soothing.

4. Pacifier Awareness

Did you find yourself repeatedly replacing the pacifier at night? If your baby can’t yet replace the pacifier themselves (due to lack of pincer grasp), they’ll keep needing your help.

Two options would be to:

• Wean it completely at bedtime and overnight.

• Teach your baby to find and reinsert the pacifier themselves.

Pacifier weaning can be tough, but it’s an eventual rite of passage. If you remove it, be prepared for some initial resistance, but with consistent support (like the Shuffle Method), your child can gradually learn to sleep without it.

5. assess how consistent you have been - across 2-3 weeks and across caregivers!

Sleep coaching requires at least 2–3 weeks of consistency. Life disruptions (travel, illness, schedule changes) can derail progress. If you’re in a busy phase, postpone sleep coaching until you can commit fully.

Also, if you sometimes respond to night wakings and sometimes don’t, your child gets mixed signals. Consistency is key—stick to your plan every night for several weeks so your child can learn and adapt.

6. reassess your method of choice

If the approach you chose doesn’t align with your parenting style (e.g., cry-it-out felt too harsh, or weaning feedings was too fast), it’s okay to adjust. A successful sleep plan should be something you can follow consistently for weeks. If you see no improvement after 3–5 nights, reassess.

Final Thoughts

Even if sleep coaching hasn’t worked before, you can still help your child sleep better. Whether through guidance from a sleep coach or adjusting your strategy, a well-structured plan can make a difference. Don’t give up—better sleep is possible!